It’s been 25 years to the day that the first official marriages of gay couples took place in Amsterdam, making the Netherlands the first country in the world to legally recognize same-sex unions. To celebrate the 25th anniversary of the occasion, three more gay couples were married by Amsterdam’s mayor early Wednesday morning. Lauren Comiteau attended the nuptials.
A few minutes after midnight Wednesday morning, Amsterdam mayor Femke Halsema banged the gavel, cementing the marriage of three gay couples in city hall’s stately Council Chamber who said “I do”—or “ja” in Dutch—in front of some 150 guests including prime minister Rob Jetten.
“I feel over the top excited,” said groom Santos Fiame after the nuptials. “I mean, it’s not every year we get to be married by the mayor with the prime minister present.”
His partner of 11 years, Eelke de Jong, says getting married on the 25th anniversary of the world’s first legal gay marriage is not only a celebration of their love, but also a statement.
“It’s important that it’s possible for us to get married,” he said. “Twenty-five years ago, I was also there. And then I thought we’re going forward. But sometimes, I think we’re taking steps backwards. We have to make ourselves visible. This is a right that we have and that we need to protect.”
Some 36,000 gay and lesbian couples have tied the knot in the Netherlands since April 1, 2001, when then Amsterdam mayor Job Cohen presided over the world’s first legal gay marriages.
“Looking back, I think it’s the most important thing I did during the time that I was mayor,” said Cohen, who attended the celebrations. “But at the time, I didn’t know how important it was. But you can only have the first time once, and nobody did it then.”
Some 40 countries have since followed the Dutch lead and now legally recognise gay marriage—including Ireland, the US, Argentina and Malta. “That’s progress,” says Cohen, “but you know how many countries we have, so there’s a lot to do.
Festive
But it was all celebration and champagne at Wednesday’s joint wedding, with legendary Dutch drag queen personality Dolly Bellefleur cutting one of the four wedding cakes on offer.
“Everyone talks about clocks and Delftware, but opening up marriage is our most beautiful export product,” said activist and editor Henk Krol. “I remember 25 years ago, everybody told me the Netherlands may be the first country in the world, but it will be the last country as well. Now you see 39 countries have adopted Dutch ideas, and more are in the pipeline. You can imagine how proud I am.”
The prime minister
“I’m very proud as a Dutchman that we were the first country to do so,” said Rob Jetten, the Netherlands’ first openly gay prime minister who is engaged to be married.
“But I think the Netherlands needs to get back on track, especially protecting trans persons in the Netherlands or creating better legislation for surrogacy to make sure that we become a top 10 country again in terms of queer rights.”
The prime minister was only 14 years old when the first gay marriages took place.
“For me, it was one of the first moments that I saw on television that it is possible, even as a young, gay boy to be yourself and to love whoever you want to love.
“So that was a very inspiring moment for me and for many, many others, not only in the Netherlands, but all around the world. I think we all need role models to guide us in a very personal process that so many in the queer community experience.”
For Amsterdam mayor Femke Halsema, the prime minister is himself a role model, all the more so following a conservative government that she said fell short on gay rights.
“Now we have a gay prime minister who is very self-aware and proud, and I think for young gay people, it’s a great example not only in my city, but also nationally and internationally. That he is here tonight showing solidarity is really important.”
Never too late
Nico Vink and Vital van Looveren have been together for 45 years. At 87-years-old, Vink says the decision to get hitched was a now-or-never moment. “Why not? At our age, we have to act fast.”
As for their public nuptials, Vink says they wanted “to let the world know that even we, men, two men, can be together for 45 years. And we’re still happy!”
Their bond seems to back up the statistics: gay men have the lowest 10-year divorce rate at 15%- five percentage points lower than heterosexual couples and a full 10 percentage points lower than lesbians.
But there’s no honeymoon for the couple this week. Tomorrow they will be in a Dutch court in in the country’s Bible belt, continuing their five-year fight for their right as gay men to work with children. “That’s a problem we still have to fight against,” said Vink.
